Poems and/or Drawings about Drinking Alcohol and/or getting Drunk.
170605
Everybody spread the word
Last weekend we did celebrate
Jean’s fond farewell to forty-eight
We drove up north to watch a play
And spent the night in Morro Bay
The drive was smooth, the weather fine
We ate good food and drank great wine
So many friends to hang out with
To honor her this June the Fifth
She’s so awesome, I have to say
We should make this a holiday
170505
Think before you drink
From Las Vegas to Lima, Ohio
Gringos celebrate Cinco de Mayo
They’ll drink más Coronas and Dos Equis
And power down nachos with gloppy cheese
Bros revel in their appropriation
Hailing a wall that block immigration
Of course the irony does not stop there
Back in Mexico they simply don’t care
170315
I’m a leprechaun artist
St. Paddy’s day – you can’t escape
Just two more days to get in shape
You’ll eat and drink till you’re a sphere
But please don’t drink green, fucking beer
170308
#DayWithoutAWoman
A day without a woman
Would seem to be inhuman
No women means no living
There would be no hug giving
No mothers making dinner
Or being the breadwinner
Make sure you thank a female
By bringing her a cocktail
161230
I resolve to resist the Jizztrumpet
2016 could not be worse
Like shitty drinks you’re forced to nurse
To start this list of things not good
The loss of stars from our childhood
And Jizztrumpet the next four years?
He’ll harbor hate and foster fears
To me the thing that tops this list
Is Jean’s cancer her doctor missed
I say this with the utmost class
This year has sucked a fat dog’s ass!
161223
My Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa wish too
I have one wish this Festivus
For Jean to be as well as us
Maybe more well than Dave the drunk
His muddled head’s missing a chunk
And way better than fatso Fred
He’s one donut away from dead
And don’t forget ol’ smelly Sue
She stinks worse than a pile of poo
My wish for Jean this Festivus –
Better health than the rest of us!
161214
Spirits for the Xmas spirit
Drinking at the Christmas party
Diet cola and Bacardi
Ate a rib eye that was yummy
So much goodness in my tummy
Then came time to exchange presents
I gave dollars; they gave ten cents
Left the party as it ended
Kind of glad that I attended
160831
Let’s have a ball for summerall
Though fall is still three weeks away
Summer concludes on Labor Day
The calendar may not agree
But brand new shows are on TV
School has returned and football too
We have a chance for something new
Between breakfast and midday lunch
Someone created champagne brunch
So after summer, before fall
We should declare a “summerall”
And just like brunch we drink champagne
While summer bods are on the wane
160425
Congrats mom & dad!
When getting hitched you say, “I do”
It’s easy too, when it’s brand new
While some succeed, way more do fail
Till death seems like a fairytale
My parents did what most cannot
They meant it when they tied the knot
So raise a glass, and give three cheers
They celebrated fifty years!!!
160318
I drew a bath
If you have had a brutal day
A bath might make it go away
So light candles and fill the tub
Then give your feet a loofah scrub
You do not have to remove dirt
And Champagne surely wouldn’t hurt
To calm your inner psychopath
Turn off the world – turn on your bath
160316
Green beer is for sasanaigh
Put on your green, and raise your beer
At last, St. Patrick’s Day is here!
I’ll speak about the Emerald Isle
And you might end up with a smile
Pull up a chair, and sit right down
We love the craic and hate the crown
We like our food boiled in a pot
Cabbage is good, corned beef is not
Only three leaves on a shamrock
The trunk’s a boot; a lake’s a lough
Jumpers are worn when it’s fierce cold
It’s always fierce the truth be told
The coffee might contain Baileys
To warm you up before céilís
Of course you know, we love our beer
But if it’s green, get out of here!
160302
Green beer no – green shake yes
Now that February’s gone
March is here and marching on
Highlight is St. Paddy’s Day
Shamrock shake and fish filet
Make sure to avoid green beer
Won’t be long till April’s here
160229
My happiness I can’t contain
We woke from sleeping on a train
A hopeless feat while on a plane
We often speed in the fast lane
But that lifestyle’s hard to maintain
It might seem slow and quite mundane
But we get treated like Bruce Wayne
We watch the world sipping champagne
I know next time we’ll take the train
160205
I like cats
Horses and cats play on Sunday
The cats will purr; horses will neigh
Unless you’re huge into pigskin
You likely won’t care who will win
So here’s a way to have some fun
Until the final play is done
Make sure to keep your glasses filled
With alcohol that’s fairly chilled
Then have a sip at every snap
You will soon take a well earned nap
You’ll join the drunken hall of fame
And won’t care who has won the game
151230
So long 2015!
2016 is almost here
It’s time to look back on the year
In Paris there were two attacks
White lives don’t matter less than blacks
ISIS proceeds to terrorize
And mass shootings are on the rise
Another Bush; Trump wants a wall
The Right has no one good at all
Glad Star Wars fans around the block
Sad Star Trek fans lost Mr. Spock
Australia was a lot of fun
Then Jean and I toured Hobbiton
Later we lost Eugene and Lou
But now there’s one more thing to do
So raise your glass and give a cheer
It’s time to say, “Happy New Year!”
151127
That’s how I want the game to be
On Saturday ’bout half past three
As Sark sips his peach daiquiri
There’ll be a Bruin victory
Another loss for ol’ $c
That will beget malicious glee
I’d put that ‘neath our christmas tree
150810
8/8 was great!
The car was packed, we got some gas
A long four hour drive
Reunion for my high school class
From 1985
The year before and after too
Coyotes on the prowl
We didn’t sing awoo-awoo
Or give our mighty howl
I missed the ones that were not there
And even some that were
The bully jock that’s losing hair
I talked with him for sure
The pretty girls are women now
The boys are full grown men
We had some drinks and ate some chow
We spoke of now and then
The best part of the night for me
John Hufferd was there too
He means a lot to so many
To him we say thank you!
Like all good things it had to end
I looked back through the door
My real life pal or facebook friend
Let’s not wait thirty more
150807
We are the mighty coyotes
Tomorrow will be 30 years
Since last I saw my high school friends
We’ll have some laughs and drink some beers
I hope the party never ends
150608
Thanks for everything Alan & Karla!
Our visitors were
Karla and Alan
Jean was the chauffeur
We drank a gallon
We tasted some more
A great way to spend
A fiesta for
Jean’s birthday weekend
141231
Let’s do better in 2015!
The year comes to its fated end
A good night to spend with a friend
As you plan your resolution
Consider your contribution
Stop drinking beer, and cut your hair
Lose twenty pounds, I just don’t care
Those goals are nice but selfish too
Do something that’s not just for you
Share the planet, and save the bees
Pledge your money to cure disease
Eat local foods, and plant a tree
Don’t fight too much, try to agree
Make your city a better place
Do something for the human race
What will I do to save the Earth?
I’ll cover it with smiles and mirth
As we bid this year adieu
Do as I say, not as I do
141001
Don’t strain yourself
I think there’s Ebola
On your Coca-Cola
Media lives off fear
Joe Six-Pack drinks a beer
Put down that Ricola
It might have Ebola
Media slavery
Does not want bravery
I’m sure there’s Ebola
On raisin granola
They want you to be scared
Nobody will be spared
Flint to Pensacola
We all have Ebola
140913
Thanks Tom & Penny!
We got to hang with Tom Jolly
Played a lot of games by golly
Sailed from India to This Town
Builders until the sun went down
Discworld: Ankh-Morpork we enjoyed
In game theory I got destroyed
Penny BBQ’d our dinner
Flame broiled pizza was a winner
Sipping cider; eating a slice
Played Istanbul once and then twice
What a fun party to attend
A scorpion signaled the end
We packed our games into a box
On the way home we saw a fox
140907
Please don’t wink
When I drink
I get pink
Past the brink
Hurl in sink
Make’s a stink
Home I slink
Didn’t think
Shouldn’t drink
140725
Aw, it’s you. I never knew.
I met her at a coffee shop
I didn’t want the date to stop
So we went out to a movie
Then the date got pretty groovy
Out to a bar for drinks and dance
Could feel the starting of romance
I dropped her off and bid adieu
Then realized “that’s my place too!”
140623
Wet spot
Before you go to bed
To get your forty winks
You have to plan ahead
Don’t have so many drinks
If you indulge too much
You won’t have restful bliss
You’ll toss and turn and such
Because you have to piss
Your bladder starts to ache
You stumble to the john
Not totally awake
You leave your undies on
You can’t hold back the sea
The liquid must expel
So now you’re soaked with pee
And wide awake as well
140419
What’s cooking on Cook?
Tonight was a big winner
We hosted friends for dinner
First ones there were Kath and Gabe
Then came Stephanie and Dave
We chowed down on some tri-tip
While we had some wine to sip
Then we played some Zombie Dice
Jean won once, but I lost twice
Doesn’t matter, fun was had
Thanks for coming to our pad!
140317
Paddy O’Downer
It happens every year
Wannabes drink green beer
Eat cabbage and corned beefs
Think shamrocks have four leafs
I don’t want to be mean
But simply wearing green
And acting childish
Doesn’t make you Irish
140305
Do priests give up wine for lent?
Today is the first day of lent
It’s marked by a smudging event
A priest rubs some dirt on your head
So you look like the walking dead
And then you’re expected to quit
Something that you like for a bit
The best part of this canon law
Is partying on Mardi Gras
I wonder if celibate monks
Are jealous of church approved drunks
140201
116 bottles to be honest
99 bottles of wine in our house
And we finished them all, me and my spouse
We sipped Grenache, Syrah and Chardonnay
We quaffed Marsanne, Roussanne and Cabernet
We drank Zinfandel and Sauvignon Blanc
We gulped Viognier and Cabernet Franc
We had bottles from Zaca and Talley
Some from Red Zeppelin and Edna Valley
We had Casa Dumetz and Bishop’s Peak
I wonder how many we’ll drink next week!
1231
Thanks for everything 2013!
It’s 2014 eve
Today I will achieve
A feat you won’t believe
For every day this year
My poems caused a cheer
Or some to shed a tear
I used words in a rhyme
My drawings looked like slime
But finished every time
Next year’s resolution
My rhyme revolution
Will find distribution
