220923
If the campervan’s a rockin’…
In autumn it can get quite chilly
And camping might seem pretty silly
To keep warm at night
We snuggle real tight
And play hide and seek with my willy
Tag: Automobiles
Poems and/or Drawings about Cars and Driving.
220627
220627
Lavatory lamentation
On a bus for transportation
Corcaigh is my destination
Traffic means a hesitation
Causing much exasperation
I would like to bring cessation
To my need for urination
With a sense of desperation
To the jacks with trepidation
Odor is a foul sensation
I hold on for concentration
Need to get some relaxation
Waiting for piss termination
Pull my pants up with elation
Back to seat for the duration
Silently in celebration
Waiting for the final station
220624
220530
220530
Got a ticket to my destination
My visit was fun
But now it is done
I had a great time
But not a long time
I’ll be back again
But I don’t know when
220523
220523
Had to get away
It’s fun to be on holiday
It’s fun to rest and get away
It’s fun to frolic in the sun
I recommend for everyone
220511
220511
To be the man, you got to drive the van!
Last night I drove a campervan
I drove it from Kildare
I drove it like the Macho Man
I drove it like Ric Flair
I drove the camper for a friend
I drove it to their pad
I’ll drive the campervan again
Or else I will be sad
220311
220311
Fill ‘er up fantasies
A greedy and vile petrol station
Would gouge due to war and inflation
The owner was caught
While sailing his yacht
The swift punishment was castration
220117
220117
N stands for knowledgeable
I once was told to go to hell
But I could not drive there
I have a license now – that’s swell
Still I’m going nowhere
I should be good and happy that
I cannot get to hell
If they don’t have my dog and cat
It’s probably just as well
210428
210428
Can’t get there from here
Four lads in a car
They go down to Cork
They don’t get too far
Turned wrong at the fork
The hotel was wrong
And these hapless men
Did not take too long
To get lost again
They thought as they drove
That they should not roam
To Cork or to Cobh
So far from their home
210419
210419
I’m a giver
With women’s gifts, I am a master
And this tip should avoid disaster
When buying something for your steady
Don’t get them roses or a teddy
They don’t much care for cars or rockets
Just buy them dresses that have pockets
210310
210310
The Killin’ Irish!
I’m glad I’m not a bride
And living in Kilbride
I’d never drive my car
So near to Kilmacar
Way down in Kilmacow
I’d hate to be a cow
And in Killinaspick
I’d hate to be a cow
210301
210301
I hope someone will say – fair play!
I get food from the take-away
And Monday week is next Monday
When driving over to Galway
I take the Dual Carriageway
Post X-mas is St. Stephen’s Day
And fourteen stones is what I weigh
The pitch is where the hurlers play
I keep on learning every day
210208
210208
It’s 8:01
There’s one thing that I really hate
It’s when something is really late
I will admit my nasty trait
Does not one bit make me look great
When not on time, I get irate
My mouth will froth, my hips gyrate
It puts me in a wretched state
So mad that I expectorate
I’ll get all tense and flatulate
And through the roof goes my heart rate
Where is my food? I cannot wait!
They said that they’d be here by eight!
200928
200928
Offaly is awful
Midlands driving never a blast
Midlands driving gets old real fast
I drove there once, it’s not for me
So much turf, all I can see
Midland days feckin’ away to oh fuck those Midland drives
Welly, welly, welly boots
Tullamore, Tullamore
Where is Ballinagar?
Tullamore, Tullamore
Athlone or Mullingar?
I drove through there, missed the off ramp
Needed to wee, my pants got damp
I kept driving to Longford town
No luck there, no one around
Midland fun? Never begun oh fuck those Midland drives
Welly, welly, welly boots
Tullamore, Tullamore
Where can you get a bite?
Tullamore, Tullamore
Or a place for the night?
Got to Sligo, the N4 ends
Told the Midlands, we can’t be friends
There and then, I made a vow
Won’t be back, no way no how
Midland trips are all bullshit and fuck those Midland drives
200826
200826
Thick, arrogant prick
Hogan’s sorry he got caught
Is he sorry? Not a lot!
He still claims he did no wrong
That is why we say “SO LONG!”
200518
200518
Phase craze
(18 May)
We’re now in phase one
The phase with no fun
(8 June)
Phase two on June 8
Can visit a mate
(29 June)
And when phase three drops
They’ll open most shops
(20 July)
The next phase is four
We’ll go shore to shore
(10 August)
And lastly phase five
The pubs are alive!!!
200313
200313
He’s going to Maam next
There once was a husband from Cavan
Who drove every weekend to Navan
His wife unaware
Of his love affair
With palindromes that he was havin’
200304
200304
The oul’ sod is odd
The town of Athy
It sounds like a thigh
When walking in Laois
Please bring your dog’s leash
If ever in Naas
Get out of that place!
I hear that in Cobh
There might be a cove
The towns over here
Are spelled kind of queer
191220
191220
He drove Ky and Lo
There once was a Driver named Adam
Who liked to speed over macadam
He flew down the line
Doing sixty nine
To get to his favorite madam
190909
190909
So blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!
It’s my day of birth, but I ain’t new
Like a deck of cards I’m 52
To my Sweetie Pea I’m Sugar Pooh
I did not move here to eat lamb stew
Count ABC’s twice to get my age
I’m like a tiger trapped in a cage
But maybe this year I’ll turn the page
They say 50 plus is such a rage
Took 52 years to get this far
I walk everywhere ’cause I’ve no car
And my birthday wish is so bizarre
But I want to be a viral star
With my rocking rhymes that have such flair
Plus drawings of Linc and Brownie Bear
Since we’re Facebook friends, I know you care
So please do your part and click on “share”
190607
190607
It’s possible in my head
I tried to drive the motorway
But clearly I should stay away
I did my best but still had fear
Of flying off this big blue sphere
190531
190531
The right of way goes to the biggest guns
Car Wars will be back again
As games go, this one’s a ten
Flamethrowers and plasma guns
Wild weapons, this game has tons
190527
190527
Póg mo thóin
Drive around the Emerald Isle
Cows and sheep mile after mile
Gorgeous views and verdant grass
Don’t like this? Then kiss my ass!
190522
190522
I think that would be apropos
I drove all the way from Mayo
With both of my parents in tow
That sure was a long way to go
I think I deserve a banjo
190517
190517
When the saints go marching in
There is a long walk
Before a long wake
The priest gives a talk
Before tea and cake
The friends laugh and cry
And all shed a tear
With glasses raised high
They all give a cheer
190515
190515
We’ll get some bread at Eurospar
To take my parents really far
I hired us a motorcar
It’s Japanese, not a Jaguar
A ride like that would be bizarre
We’ll go from here to Castlebar
Might even stop in Mullingar
If they return without a scar
They’ll think of me as a rock star
190107
190107
Goin’ to Mayo
I’m on my way to wild Mayo
Where only silly people go
You cannot get there on a train
So getting there can be a pain
You cannot drive there in a car
I tried it once, but it’s too far
You cannot get there on a bike
That isn’t true, but it’s a hike
You cannot get there in a boat
Such choppy waves, it’s hard to float
The only place on this great sphere
You cannot go to there from here
181116
181116
#BeatSc
There once was a killer named OJ
Who had a slow chase on the freeway
He drove by $c
And got his degree
‘Cause murder is fine if you can play
181112
181112
HB Mr. B
Today could be chucked in a bin
A grounded plane with damaged skin
Another plane but had to wait
I missed the bus ’cause we were late
Then had to stand out in the cold
All the delays had gotten old
And traffic as we got to Naas
We crawled along at a snail’s pace
Then at long last, I made it home
And quickly bought Glory to Rome
‘Cause Tony said to this weekend
And I obey my foul-mouthed friend
181017
181017
Slán Abhaile
A visit from my old pal Scott
And he is here with Lana too
I’ve shown them all Kilkenny’s got
But now they have to bid adieu
180820
180820
I might need to get one
From Castleknock to Castlebar
Mullinavat to Mullingar
You can’t get there without a car
From County Cork to County Clare
Killarney, Kilcoole and Kildare
Without a car you can’t get there