Category: Ridiculous Rhymes

0321

0321
Time is the enemy

Met up with an old friend last night
We talked, laughed, drank and had a bite
28 years have passed us by
Catching up is our battle cry

We booked our tickets to Ireland
Mom called to say she broke her hand
Dentist says still no cavities
Today’s storm is just a light breeze
How will this up and down day end?
Gonna meet up with high school friend

0318

0318
Monday funday

Our St. Pat’s party was great
Bubbles blowing in the sun
Can’t count the bangers I ate
Playing Rock Band was so fun
Ciders and beers, we drank a bunch
Then the day turned into night
Next day’s text – “come home for lunch”
What an afternoon delight!

0316

0316
Spoiler alert

Matthew Crawley, is that blood on your head?
Oh, Matthew Crawley, are you really dead?
Your romance with Mary was magic
She and you had it all
Your ride back to Downton was tragic
You should have made a call
Mr. Branson, should have been the chaffeur
Grantham’s Grandson, is the new heir for sure
Hey Fellowes is nobody sacred?
You’ve removed all the mirth
My love for you has turned to hatred
Since baby Sybil’s birth

0313

0313
Pope Frank

So, now we have a Pope Francis
Will he change any church stances?
I think we should call him Pope Frank
That would be quite a papal prank
Brand new Pope, but plan is the same
Lie, deny, and shirk all the blame

0312

0312
Up in smoke

To many it might seem like a joke
But Catholics are focused on smoke
It’s a strange way to elect a boss
How is it done over at Hamas?
When the pipe spews out smoke that is black
Cook up some pop-corn and just sit back
When the voting brings smoke that is white
That means everything will be all right

0311

0311
North Korea is worst Korea

Rodman goes to North Korea
Horsey Sausage at IKEA
Cardinals meet to make new Pope
Gang rape suspect at end of rope
High court debates Voting Rights Act
My Yahoo email was hijacked
The Dow Jones sets an all-time high
More headline news to get you by

0309

0309
GoT is coming

If you are a Lannister
You really know your sister
If you’re like Theon Greyjoy
Friendship is merely a ploy
If you’re more like Arya Stark
Your bite is worse than your bark
If you guard on the Night’s Watch
You vow not to use your crotch
If you lose the Game of Thrones
You’ll end up as rotting bones

0308

0308
Dammit Mamet

Arroyo Grande is to AG
As Los Angeles is to LA
AG Village has a lot to see
There’s a wine bar and even a play

0307

0307
Cure whine with wine

Rand Paul talks for hours
Stock in Apple sours
White House target of nuke
AIDS cure could be a fluke
Bin Laden son is caught
LeBron to tie the knot
Facebook changes timeline
This will get the most whine

0306

0306
Funny money

It is hard to put on a happy face
When your soul is sucked dry at your workplace
I shouldn’t complain that it’s not perfect
But they give less effort than I’d expect
I have a dream, but it might seem funny
To love my job and make stacks of money

0305

0305
Artemia NYOS rule

Is it worse to meet twilight junkies
Or somebody into Sea-Monkeys?
Sparkling vampires cause Stoker to Spin
But instant life pets are full of win

0302

0302
This boy ate soy

I’m usually a barbarian
But sometimes I’ll eat vegetarian
Because I consume all manners of meats
It’s weird to eat the food that your food eats

0301

0301
Spock shot first

I’m such a big nerd that my heart swelled
When Obama said Jedi Mind Meld
I don’t care that Trek and Wars were mixed
I just want the economy fixed

0228

0228
DC = don’t care

It’s about time that Congress backed
Violence Against Women Act
Republicans like the drama
When it seems to hurt Obama
Injustice at the Supreme Court
Minorities have lost support
When good happens in Washington
Another’s rights become undone

0226

0226
Pyramid Pyromania

Old Pope is stepping down
Helen Hunt wears cheap gown
Ben’s Argo is the best
Blizzards hit the midwest
In Egypt, balloons crash
Gasoline costs more cash
Blade Runner kills girl friend
Gun deaths won’t ever end

0223

0223
I’m such a tease

I call poems poetries
But these rhymes don’t grow on trees
I like to use similes
As if I had some disease
My art has deficiencies
Clearly not my expertise
My limericks aim to please
They bring hot chicks to their knees
My haiku’s are such a breeze
Some might think I’m Japanese
I don’t think that these are sleaze
Though I make no guarantees

0220

0220
Roq of the 80’s

I want an 80’s flashback
How Soon is Now? and Love Shack
Oingo Boingo and U2
Relax and Pictures of You
The English Beat and Soft Cell
Pulling Mussels from a Shell
Berlin and Duran Duran
World Destruction and Roxanne
Men at Work and Tears for Fears
All these songs stuck in my ears

0219

0219
I got the last word

Growing up as a nerd
My chances were absurd
Of going to a dance
Or having a romance
With the girls I wanted
Instead I was taunted
For having some knowledge
And going to college
Although I’m still a nerd
I have a lovely bird
And those who threw the taunts
Are filled with hopes and wants

0218

0218
Wish I could have bought her

I was hiking near the water
All was well until a yachter
Passed too close to a sea otter
Who got sunk and dropped his daughter
I jumped in and grabbed and caught her
By her tail, until I brought her
To her pop, who licked and pawed her
Most won’t believe, but they oughtta

0215

0215
Distressed not obsessed

When filling each nook
Of your poem book
Ever skipped a page
And started to rage?
They you’re just like me
And have OCD.

0213

0213
Eat less
Drink water
Exercise more

When I am on a diet
My stomach won’t stay quiet
If my belly feels hollow
Cups of water I’ll swallow
Makes me dash to the latrine
All this running keeps me lean

0212

0212
UCLA all the way

In 85
I could not drive
In my High School
I was not cool
Off to college
To gain knowledge
UCLA
Blue and gold, yay!
Joined Rally Comm
They were the bomb
I met a bud
His name was CHUD
There was Kathy
And RDB
They called me Pope
I had new hope
Though still a geek
That was now chic
In 85
I felt alive!

0211

0211
Pope Benequit

I woke up to news that the Pope had quit
I thought to myself, “Now ain’t this some shit?!?”
Catholics around the world will have to cope
‘Cause since 1985, I’ve been Pope

0208

0208
Rain is for suckers

I detest the rain
Driving’s such a pain
If it rained at night
That would be alright

0206

0206
Disney + Star Wars = So Many ???

When it comes to cool, there is no equal
Han solo is tops, but why a prequel?
Disney should think twice about who they cast
Channing or Taylor would leave me aghast
Perhaps Michael Cera could play young Han
Selling bananas out of a Tauntaun
Donald Glover as Lando would make sense
Just thinking about this is so intense
Mostly I wonder how they’ll screw it up
The Star Wars version of 2 Girls 1 Cup
To those involved, if you don’t get it right
You should all be frozen in carbonite

0205

0205
Use the cash Luca$

Disney is doing what Lucas wouldn’t
But some fanboys think the mouse house shouldn’t
They picked a guy that penned a Toy Story
Will he bring the franchise back to glory?
Does Star Trek helmer know about the force?
Luke should never say, “Sulu, plot a course!”
Lastly, the prequels were so full of suck
They will need a kiss from Leia “for luck”

0204

0204
We’ll never get it back

Ravens won the Super Bowl
Gun nuts dislike gun control
Tweeters tweet “The lights are out”
Global warming leads to drought
Boy scouts want to end gay ban
Should we nuke Afghanistan?
Bullies leave another dead
Has the whole world lost it’s head?

0202

0202
She’s such a craisin

Today we hiked with Raven
When she saw another bitch
She started to howl and twitch
Is she angry or craven?

0201

0201
Burnt out nerd?

Men at Work was my first concert
So gnarly, I bought a t-shirt
“It’s a Mistake” and “Overkill”
They played all their hits; what a thrill!
Tom and I were offered some grass
We refused like it was nerve gas
The show ended with “Down Under”
When I reminisce I wonder
If I had puffed on what was passed
How would that have changed the past?

0131

0131
1 down 11 to go

31 drawings
And poems to match
End of the month brings
Us to the next batch
I hope you’ve enjoyed
This challenge so far
If you’ve been annoyed
I’ll say au revoir