Category: Ridiculous Rhymes

190506

190506
Fish and trips

My tragedy was Brownie’s wish
Because I dropped my chips and fish
I walked him back to where they spilled
And then he ate till he was filled
Tonight I mourn my takeaway
To Brownie, it’s “the bestest day!”

190501

190501
#RIP Eric Sokol

Seems like losing’s never finished
Every loss leaves me diminished
News today was grief and sorrow
Hope it’s better news tomorrow

190429

190429
That’s all you got for GoT

Want to talk of Winterfell
Want to cry and want to yell
But I do not want to spoil
That might get your blood to boil
Four more days is all you got
Friday I reveal the plot

190426

190426
Hannah knows how to blow

Easter Weekend was quite warm
Now we have a feckin’ storm
Gusty winds are some display
Hope we don’t get blown away!

190424

190424
Slow down, you move too fast

When I think I’m doing something
I’m just busy doing nothing
When I think I’m keeping busy
I’m just making myself dizzy
When I think I’m near perfection
I’m just in the wrong direction
Never-ending sweat exposes
I should stop and smell the roses

190422

190422
Let the sunshine in

A summer day happened in spring
With bright sunshine and everything
I ate some tasty barbecue
With some good friends and new friends too

190419

190419
Immaculate perception

I cleaned the house because it’s Spring
I scrubbed the floors and everything
I dusted here, I dusted there
I found a ton of Brownie hair
I washed the dishes in the sink
I picked up after little Linc
I swept so hard my fingers bled
And now it’s time to go to bed

190415

190415
Be thankful I don’t take it all

Please do not laugh, this isn’t funny
At breakfast time my eggs were runny
Brownie and Linc ate all my honey
It’s raining now, no longer sunny
The taxman came and took my money
Perhaps I’ll eat the Easter bunny

190410

190410
Is maith liom feoil dorcha

I wish I was a polyglot
But one language is all I’ve got
I tried Spanish and Irish too
“Hello”, “Goodbye”, and “How are you?”
So, Duolingo helps to train
These languages inside my brain

190405

190405
My CV is curiously vast

Today I had an interview
But not one job, it was for two
And when they tell me, “We want you!”
I’ll celebrate with Irish stew

190403

190403
We were all winners

Wednesday night is my game night
And tonight was out of sight
Loot Letter and Isle of Skye
Carson City – my oh my
I will show up every week
‘Cause I am a board game geek

190327

190327
Mope brings external

I will need some hocus-pocus
To regain external focus
It should clearly be worth nothing
Through each day I’m mostly floating
Walk the dog, and feed the kitty
Exercise to keep me pretty
Nothing else seems to be working
Thankfully sunshine is lurking

190322

190322
Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Lee!

To every sir and madam
That know Lisa and Adam
The long waiting is all done
Today these two become one
Their love will be wholehearted
Let’s get this party started

190318

190318
Oíche mhaith

If you’re an Ulster dreamer
You’ll always dream of Eimear
Your mind will be a reelin’
If ever you meet Caoilfhoinn
You better have inertia
To try to woo a Saoirse
If you can say it rightly
You’ll get to see her nightly

190313

190313
Like a silk sheet

At the Paddy’s day parade
You will surely find Máiréad
Those that have both brains and brawn
Fascinate the fair Siobhán
To impress an Irish lass
Say their name as smooth as glass

190311

190311
Get the point?

Don’t mess with a woman named Niamh
They always keep knives up their sleeve
Don’t mess with a fella named Piaras
They carry sharp objects that pierce
Don’t mess with a woman named Medb
They might whack your head with a stave
Don’t mess with a fella named Aodh
They have been known to skin and flay
Don’t mess with the folks of the harp
They always have things that are sharp

190306

190306
Owen is owin’ Eoghan

This is the legend of Eoghan
Others are comin’ and goin’
He has a side he ain’t showin’
Vast is the knowledge he’s knowin’
Dark is the shade he is throwin’
Loud is the horn he is blowin’
He doesn’t do his own crowin’
His tale is growin’ and growin’

190304

190304
Rhymes with skin trade

My leg hurt, and I needed shin-aid
I made an appointment with Sinéad
She is a pro at giving first aid
Her regimen helped make the pain fade

190225

190225
And then I wake up

“Mmm hmm! Uh huh! Yeah, pull my hair!”
“Like that! Oh yeah! I’m almost there!”
“That feels so good! Don’t stop! Go! go!”
“Right there! Oh god! I’m gonna blow!”
Into the night, their bodies sweat
At last, she asks, “Are you done yet?!”

190222

190222
Human food dispenser

If my Brownie Bear could talk
All he’d say is “Food!” and “Walk!”
If my little Linc could speak
He’d yell, “I NEED FOOD YOU FREAK!”
Glad they can’t articulate
Neverending scorn and hate

190220

190220
Meeples > Top Hats

Someone blended “my” and “people”
And that portmanteau was “meeple”
Gamers love them – wood or plastic
Some are simple – some fantastic
Fighters, wizards, thieves and clerics
Dinos, pirates, and oil derricks
You can choose your favorite symbol
Better than a boot or thimble

190218

190218
Until the end of time

How many times can your heart break?
How many times can your heart ache?
So many times you’ll mourn and grieve
So many times you won’t believe
How many times did your heart build?
How many times was your heart filled?
That many times you’ll wonder why
That many times and more you’ll cry

190213

190213
I’m mine 4 ever

The day of love is here again
I love myself like I’m a ten
I gave myself my own “Be Mine”
‘Cause I’m my special Valentine

190211

190211
Painted by science!

I hope you saw tonight’s sunset
The moment when day and night met
The orange clouds and purple skies
A masterpiece before your eyes

190208

190208
Reach out touch someone

Water leaking from my eye
Why am I about to cry?
Every piece of news is sad
Nothing seems to make me glad
Then my friend decides to call
And their voice undoes it all
I forget when I’m alone
No one’s far thanks to the phone

190204

190204
There’s always next year

Sportsball isn’t fun
The Patriots won
New England is glad
The rest of us sad
Old England won too
The green boys are blue
The cats got a loss
Jizztrumpet’s still boss
This world is all wrong
Let’s toke on this bong

190201

190201
February won!

Today is February One
There is February sun
Start the February run
Let’s have February fun!

190130

190130
Ignoble warming

When it gets to -1
Go outside for icy fun
When it gets to -2
Ears and nose start turning blue
When it gets to -3
Snot freezes on my goatee
When it gets to -4
Milk and bread brawls at the store
When it gets to -5
That’s when snowmen come alive
When it gets to -6
Beat them back with burning sticks
-7, -8
Cold War isn’t going great
When it gets to -9
Frosty’s friends are looking fine
When it gets to -10
Build snow women for snowmen
Only way to win this war
Go inside and shut the door