150722
It’s nice while it lasts
The Angels have been pretty hot
But time will tell if it’s for naught
Now seven games won in a row
And last lost ’bout two weeks ago
What happens when this hot streak ends?
Will Trout and Pujols still be friends?
150720
Thanks Steve!
Our handyman is known as Steve
He’s super like Christopher Reeve
When There’s a problem we can’t fix
He opens up his bag of tricks
His nails are straight, they never stray
And then our troubles go away
150717
Please take the bribe
If you share with a friend or two
I will write a poem for you
If you share and a friend clicks like
I will draw you dropping the mic
150715
Pluto blocked NASA on Facebook
NASA we have some questions dammit!
Is or isn’t Pluto a planet?
The space probe flyby makes me wonder
If New Horizons is a blunder
Since Pluto has dwarf planet status
Why send this costly apparatus?
Only a downright dirty puto
Would try to catfish poor ol’ Pluto
150713
Keep that halo lit!
In first place at the All-Star break
That Angels headline sure seems fake
April and May were a bummer
But they got hot in the summer
Angels aren’t great, but they’re the best
In mediocre AL West
Santiago, Pujols and Trout
I hope they spark an All-Star rout
150710
SD I want to be in you
Comic-Con – I want to go
Comic-Con – it’s such a show
Pop culture and comic geeks
Haven’t changed their clothes in weeks
Cosplayers dressed to the nines
Hours spent waiting in lines
Rumors aren’t in short supply
Find out first who’s next to die
Hard to find a place to crash
Hope you brought a ton of cash
Comic-Con – it isn’t fair
Comic-Con – I can’t be there
150708
The dunce of confederates
There once was a Jindal named Bobby
Who wanted the President’s jobby
He opened his mouth
‘Bout loving the south
And rebel flag waving’s his hobby
150706
That went south so fast!
Many know I call myself Pope
Even though I don’t bestow hope
Pope Francis can talk the good talk
Wish the church would walk the good walk
People flock to hear his sermon
Like him better than the German
Not a fan, but not a hater
Now he’s south of the equator
When I find myself that far south
I get things done with my big mouth
150703
Have a safe and sane 4th
Bang! Happy Independence Day
Bang! Another dog runs away
Bang! Barbecuing in the park
Bang! Soldiers shaking in the dark
Bang! Bottle rocket, cherry bomb
Bang! Suddenly they’re back in ‘Nam
Bang! Before you light any more
Bang! Think about the folks next door
150701
Pull over and sleep it off
When all your fears
Bring you to tears
Don’t suck it up
Top off your cup
150629
All we need is… A big win
They built Vegas in the desert
A lot of dreams on sand and dirt
Sweetie Pea and Honey Bunny
Went there to win stacks of money
They parked their car in the garage
And then saw Love at the Mirage
Cirque du Soleil with the Fab Four
Part rock concert, but so much more
A better show they can’t recall
A splendid time was had by all
150626
I do they do we all do
Today the court is so supreme
They’ve made real what was once a dream
For many years many have fought
Now all who love can tie the knot
150624
Played Pairs at PolyCon 33
At game cons there’s nothing finer
Than playing with the designer
Whether graybeard or a minor
No one wants to face a whiner
150622
Flags don’t burn crosses
It has to be degenerates
That raise flags for confederates
“The flag ain’t racist by itself”
Said the bigot with hood on shelf
The Ku Klux Klan will try to hide
Their hatred behind rebel pride
Only rebel flag that mattered
Was the white flag, torn and tattered
150619
Death by loud noises
The smoke alarm gives off small chirps
It wakes up Raven, and she “yerps”
She gets so scared from certain sounds
And then she bays like twenty hounds
The worst noises are fireworks
Set off at night by thoughtless jerks
Soon it will be 4th of July
This might kill her, and that’s no lie
150617
Not so haute haiku
The door was open
Brownie ate Jean’s nice new shoes
I’m in the doghouse
150615
Tried to sell what wasn’t his
That’s not good – window’s broke
Asshole drank all my Coke
Crushed my things pretty bad
Took my games – I’m so mad
Funny thing – he got caught
Must have smoked too much pot
Hope he’s shanked in his cell
Then a short trip to hell
150612
Happy #LovingDay
We must never forget the facts
There was a time when whites and blacks
Could not live in a loving way
So we proclaim this loving day
And now we know it’s not a sin
To love despite color of skin
I hope there is a future where
When two marry we only care
Where they will spend their honeymoon
And not which one’s the bride or groom
150610
That’s why I wear a hat
I’m pretty sure humidity
Increases the stupidity
The way that people talk and act
You’d think they all were smoking crack
It’s only moisture in the air
The most it does is fuck up hair
150608
Thanks for everything Alan & Karla!
Our visitors were
Karla and Alan
Jean was the chauffeur
We drank a gallon
We tasted some more
A great way to spend
A fiesta for
Jean’s birthday weekend
150605
Jean is 21… again
Happy birthday to my wife
She’s the best part of my life
She’s so smart and such a dish
Hope she gets her birthday wish
150603
Everyday
Greet the dawn with a yawn
This is how the day begins
Make a squirt, wash the dirt
Got to scrub off all my sins
Kiss my spouse, leave the house
Wave at Jerry, Phil and Bob
Stop and go, to and fro
Finally make it to my job
Nine to five, still alive
Did it all for little pay
Kiss my mate, life is great
Made it through another day
150601
Doom and gloom
Cold and cloudy in the morn
Nice warm jackets do get worn
Blue skies in the afternoon
Welcome to the month of June
150529
CA is to the left of TX
Too much rain in the Midwest
Poor Texans can get no rest
California has no rain
This long drought is such a pain
If that rain could come out west
We would all be far less stressed
Scientists could find a way
Texans want to kneel and pray
They could pray with all their might
But they’re too far to the right
150527
Career day
Today we spoke about careers
All the speakers were volunteers
I said my job was great and such
I really hate to lie that much
150525
We got our ya-ya’s out
We saw the Stones at Petco Park
The opener was Gary Clark
Our souvenirs took all our cash
They started with Jumping Jack Flash
All Down the Line and Moonlight Mile
Honky Tonk Women made us smile
Mick left the stage for some Keith fun
He played Before They Make Me Run
Lisa shined on Gimme Shelter
Lovely voice that nature dealt her
Their Sympathy for the Devil
Took us to a higher level
Brown Sugar before the fake end
Wish they played Waiting on a Friend
You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Mick and the boys look so damn gaunt
Satisfaction closed the concert
Time to purchase a bootleg shirt
The Rolling Stones proved they still rock
Even though they’re as old as Bach
150520
Top 10 reasons we’re sad
10. No more lists that go to ten
9. No more Regis on again
8. No more banter with ol’ Paul
7. No more velcro on the wall
6. No more reading viewer mail
5. No more Paris out of jail
4. No more stupid human tricks
3. No more flipping cards like bricks
2. No more will I stay up late
1. Goodbye Dave, you’re more than great!
150518
Why is GoT so rapey?
I’ll still watch you Game of Thrones
Though you chill me to my bones
Biggest question with this show
Why do you hate women so?
Sand snakes aren’t as good as guys
They should fight someone their size
Arya beaten with a rod
Queen is jailed by the god squad
She can’t even help her bro
‘Cause they say he’s a big ‘mo
Poor Sansa should have escaped
Not all women should be raped
150515
Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true
There once was a man with a guitar
Who pressed his own kale at the juice bar
He scrubbed in his tub
Worked out at the club
And dreamed of becoming a rock star
150513
Got a pocket full of quarters
Always an underachiever
I never had Pac-Man fever
At the arcade, this old-timer
Had a case of Crazy Climber
