Tag: Politics

170517

170517
Obstruction of justice

Roses are red
Violets are blue
They’re coming for the Jizztrumpet
I’m so fucking happy

170510

170510
It’s only been 110 days!

Jizztrumpet is Nixonian
His orders are draconian
The consummate vulgarian
The Comey thing – contrarian
Constant attacks on media
Precipitates acedia
The US ain’t utopia
But let’s avoid dystopia

170508

170508
Liar, liar Jizztrumpet on fire

There once was a hero named Sally
She knew that Flynn was Russia’s pally
She gave evidence
That Flynn lied to Pence
Which might bring about Trump’s finale

170501

170501
Trump fans – dense means stupid

Jizztrumpet is fucking dense
Things he says do not make sense
Every day he fucks up more
“Why was there the civil war?”
His query is causing waves
Guess he forgot ’bout the slaves

170407

170407
War, huh, yeah

Those children need help not war
But Jizztrumpet slammed the door
Missiles flying through the air
Where they land he does not care
White men watch in the West Wing
Putin pulls his puppet’s string

170405

170405
Make America hate again

There once was a racist named Bannon
With Ku Klux he always was Klannin’
With his pointy hood
And cross made of wood
The flames of hate speech he was fannin’

170329

170329
Where’s your tilde?

There once was a traitor named Devin
Whose Trump love went well past eleven
And like a dumbbell
He shared his intel
Which broke off the seal numbered seven

I should not laugh, I should not gloat
But Trump is on a sinking boat
There’s so much chaos on the hill
He cannot pass his new health bill
Repeal-Replace has gone nowhere
So we still have Obamacare
The swamp is streaming through the breach
It’s “when” not “if” we should impeach

170320

170320
Hit me with your best shart!

The last few days have not been great
For bathroom trips I vacillate
Between the squirts and smelly farts
My TP use is off the charts
And now I trust my flatulence
About as much as Trump and Pence
Another cramp, so here I sit
I cannot wait for solid shit

170313

170313
Somebody’s watching Jizztrumpet

Land of the free; home of the brave
But spies live in your microwave
Oh purple mountain majesty
Team 45’s a travesty

170306

170306
Scariest Poe poem ever

Grabbing pussies makes me cheery, while Steve Bannon sits there bleary
Kellyanne was cleaning puddles sprinkled over my golden floor
While I tweeted, close to crapping, suddenly there came a slapping,
As if Putin fiercely fapping, fapping on my golden floor.
“‘Tis Obama! Wire tapping, tapping on my golden floor-
He is sick and so much more!”

170224

170224
Freshen up with Putin Pourri

He blocked the news, he’s crossed the line
His every move is asinine
He builds a wall to bring jobs back
“Protecting us from an attack”
He hates muslims, he hates the gays
He’ll bring about the end of days
We can’t believe a word he speaks
He’s done all this in just five weeks

170215

170215
This is treason, I’m not teasin’

Most would say it stands to reason
What Flynn did was surely treason
Now our Congress needs to squeeze in
This before impeachment season

170208

170208
Sycophant Spicer

There once was a lackey named Spicer
Who never said “no” but “aye, aye sir!”
When told to read lies
He squinted his eyes
And asked for the press to be nicer

170130

170130
I must insist that you #RESIST

When he institutes a ban
We must do all that we can
To #RESIST his evil ways
From right now till end of days

170127

170127
Make America pay again and again

Mr. Jizztrumpty built a big wall
Mexico was to pay for it all
All of our imports would now face a tax
To place the price tag on American backs

170123

170123
0 days without a lie

A lie is a lie is a lie
And this one is too big to buy
Don’t tell me I need to relax
Stop calling it alternate facts
Newspeak is always rejected
Alt facts are always corrected
If we cannot trust every word
We’ll flush you like a hairy turd

170118

170118
I’m not crying! You’re crying!

We say goodbye to 44
We’d like to have at least four more
The good he did, he’d do again
As leaders go, he is a ten
But now it’s time for him to go
And when he’s gone, we’ll miss him so
We say this with the best intent
You’ll always be our president

170116

170116
Will we ever wake up?

I had a dream, but it’s over
Deceased like that dead dog Rover
The Jizztrumpet’s Russian affair
Will soon be our noxious nightmare

170113

170113
Next Friday is scarier than Jason

Friday night and I got money
So it’s date night with my honey
Head to Red Box then to take-out
Hoping that we get to make-out
But this Friday is a thirteen
And our nice night ended up mean
Movies and the food were sucky
So we didn’t get too lucky
While this evening seemed to be cursed
Next Friday will surely be worse

170111

170111
It’s time for him to go

The Jizztrumpet had a secret
And he thought he’d always keep it
To Russia he was beholden
‘Cause of showers that were golden
He will deny this tinkle tryst
While he’s on twitter getting pissed!

161230

161230
I resolve to resist the Jizztrumpet

2016 could not be worse
Like shitty drinks you’re forced to nurse
To start this list of things not good
The loss of stars from our childhood
And Jizztrumpet the next four years?
He’ll harbor hate and foster fears
To me the thing that tops this list
Is Jean’s cancer her doctor missed
I say this with the utmost class
This year has sucked a fat dog’s ass!

161221

161221
Night gathers and now my watch begins

Long winter time is here again
This one will stay till who knows when
Like Game of Thrones this one will last
Until at least four years have passed

161209

161209
X-mas will be blue this year

Why do I always cry?
Constant tear drops in my eye
I do fear lack of cheer
Will be commonplace this year

161207

161207
Godwin can suck it!

Hitler and Trump – though years apart
Hitler and Trump – the same at heart
Hitler and Trump – pledged to make great
Hitler and Trump – hotheads first-rate
Hitler and Trump – both like to blame
Hitler and Trump – have hair that’s lame
Hitler and Trump – hatred and fear
Hitler and Trump – men of the year

161128

161128
The bird made a turd

There once was a tweeter on Twitter
Whose tweets were both hateful and bitter
But folks liked his tweets
More than the elites
So now we’ll end up in the shitter

161123

161123
I wish Texas had seceded

It’s a Black Wednesday
Judge blocks new overtime law
Crappy Thanksgiving

161109

161109
We will, but I don’t know how

As I watched last night, a feeling inside
Of eternal hope had suddenly died
I woke up this morn, like everyday
But not knowing how to make it okay
I write you this rhyme, while holding back tears
Determined to last through the next four years

161107

161107
Almost over

Tomorrow, it will be done
Tomorrow, we’ll see who won
If she wins, she’ll be the first
If he wins, he’ll be the worst

161104

161104
HRC is GR8!

It isn’t too late
To stop all the hate
And succumb to fate
She’s better than great!

161102

161102
Preventing Trumpageddon

Though one week away
I’m voting today
I just got to say
The Jizztrumpet is a racist, sexist, misogynistic,
homophobic, xenophobic, islamaphobic, tiny fingered,
Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon who wants
you to pay his taxes for him so he can build a
wall that Mexico will not pay for and gain
access to the nuclear codes while he’s
grabbing a pussy with one hand and jerking
off Putin with the other
To prevent doomsday
Please do not delay
Go vote the right way