Tag: Numbers

Poems and/or Drawings about Numbers.

210716

210716
She took all the juice from the humpback

There once was a surfer named Lulu
Who rode big waves in Honolulu
She also rode Ken
Who hung more than ten
His longboard would make her go cuckoo

210702

210702
A wee bit of divil in her

A handsome young devil named Kevin
Took hundreds of women to heaven
When his dick got straight
It far surpassed eight
And went all the way to eleven

210609

210609
Second jab is Saturday

Listing my imagination
After second vaccination
I can take a plane to Cali
Or go hike the Great Rift Valley
I can visit my relations
Hug and touch to feel sensations
See the Dead in Sarasota
Or twine ball in Minnesota
I can go to Spain and Quito
Searching for the best burrito
I can play games at conventions
Smoke weed and explore dimensions
I can have a pint of cider
I can put my tip inside her
I might burst just like a geyser
After second jab of Pfizer

210210

210210
All you have to do is call

Listen please to my explaining
There are times when I’m complaining
Far too often for your caring
Just remember that I’m sharing
This with you, and for you only
‘Cause right now I’m feeling lonely
And we’ve equally confided
‘Cause our friendship’s not one-sided
You’ve been good so I should mention
Thank you for your rapt attention
That’s enough of my own sorrow
Tell me all of yours tomorrow

210208

210208
It’s 8:01

There’s one thing that I really hate
It’s when something is really late
I will admit my nasty trait
Does not one bit make me look great
When not on time, I get irate
My mouth will froth, my hips gyrate
It puts me in a wretched state
So mad that I expectorate
I’ll get all tense and flatulate
And through the roof goes my heart rate
Where is my food? I cannot wait!
They said that they’d be here by eight!

210122

210122
Oh Henry! > Baby Ruth

There once was a Hank known as hammer
The pitchers that faced him would stammer
The number he wore
A big 44
An RBI and Home Run slammer

210120

210120
Frustration turns to jubilation

This is no exaggeration
Four years is a long duration
To endure annihilation
Of this once majestic nation
Now eager anticipation
For Biden’s inauguration
And the giddy expectation
Jizztrumpet’s incarceration

210111

210111
Legs 11 day

All the twos – twenty-two
Quack quack – two ducks – mark them blue
Six and nine – sixty-nine
A sixty-nine sure would be fine
Five and three – fifty-three
Three-in-a-row, that’s quite lucky
Three and four – thirty-four
I have the sweats, I need one more
Eight and one – eighty-one
I have a check – Yes, I have won!

210108

210108
What’s my opinion of Kingman’s performance?

To Dodger fans Tommy Lasorda
Was family – an uncle sorta
He wore number two
And always bled blue
With Vin, they’re the top of the order

201019

201019
C u next time

If we want to stay alive
It’s six more weeks of level five
But we know that selfish pricks
Will make us go to level six
All because they would not wear
A mask to shield their viral air
Level six is dig your grave
Thanks to the cunts that won’t behave

200921

200921
The culchies can drink!

They’re open!
They’re really open!
We don’t need chips with pints
The pubs are open!
They’re open!
Thank Christ they’re open!
It’s time to have some craic
The pubs are open!
They’re open!
They’re feckin’ open!
Let’s all have one tonight
The pubs are open!

200909

200909
The big five three

Today I’m 53
Big whoop-de-fuckin-dee
Although this year is hell
You’ve made my birthday swell
While I take birthday spanks
I give you many thanks!

200629

200629
Friends of Frenamath

A trio took a demon down
And won the favor of a town
His Holiness – benevolent
He smites foes quite malevolent
Some say that Voron is a sneak
Just ’cause it seems his fingers speak
The fighter plucked the demon’s heart
So locals thought they’d do their part
The scene of such a noble act
Now Ravnar’s Tower – that’s a fact!
You’d best not try to block their path
The heroes three of Frenamath!

200608

200608
Killing kobolds

The kobolds thought that they’d do in
The bard and Lady Serafin
But they did not expect to see
This duo with ferocity
While Serafin got knocked about
The halfling took his crossbow out
The first bolt went into an eye
Now that’s a gruesome way to die
The next three bolts flew through the air
And found their marks with deadly flare
Poor Serafin was black and blue
A healing word made her anew
The lady yelled “now go to sleep!”
A hidden dagger was plunged deep
And now the legend can begin
The bard and Lady Serafin

200522

200522
Inches > Centimeters

There once was a fella named Kevin
Who claimed his dick went to eleven
He played truth or dare
They dared him to share
He barely whipped out half of seven

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