210716
She took all the juice from the humpback
There once was a surfer named Lulu
Who rode big waves in Honolulu
She also rode Ken
Who hung more than ten
His longboard would make her go cuckoo
Tag: Numbers
Poems and/or Drawings about Numbers.
210707
210707
Now the real fireworks start!
For the next four months
Gird your loins and prepare for
Passels of pumpkins!
210702
210702
A wee bit of divil in her
A handsome young devil named Kevin
Took hundreds of women to heaven
When his dick got straight
It far surpassed eight
And went all the way to eleven
210609
210609
Second jab is Saturday
Listing my imagination
After second vaccination
I can take a plane to Cali
Or go hike the Great Rift Valley
I can visit my relations
Hug and touch to feel sensations
See the Dead in Sarasota
Or twine ball in Minnesota
I can go to Spain and Quito
Searching for the best burrito
I can play games at conventions
Smoke weed and explore dimensions
I can have a pint of cider
I can put my tip inside her
I might burst just like a geyser
After second jab of Pfizer
210604
210604
Happy 53 Sweetie Pea
If Sweetie Pea
Was here with me
She too would be 53
I shed a tear
‘Cause she’s not here
49 again this year
210301
210301
I hope someone will say – fair play!
I get food from the take-away
And Monday week is next Monday
When driving over to Galway
I take the Dual Carriageway
Post X-mas is St. Stephen’s Day
And fourteen stones is what I weigh
The pitch is where the hurlers play
I keep on learning every day
210210
210210
All you have to do is call
Listen please to my explaining
There are times when I’m complaining
Far too often for your caring
Just remember that I’m sharing
This with you, and for you only
‘Cause right now I’m feeling lonely
And we’ve equally confided
‘Cause our friendship’s not one-sided
You’ve been good so I should mention
Thank you for your rapt attention
That’s enough of my own sorrow
Tell me all of yours tomorrow
210208
210208
It’s 8:01
There’s one thing that I really hate
It’s when something is really late
I will admit my nasty trait
Does not one bit make me look great
When not on time, I get irate
My mouth will froth, my hips gyrate
It puts me in a wretched state
So mad that I expectorate
I’ll get all tense and flatulate
And through the roof goes my heart rate
Where is my food? I cannot wait!
They said that they’d be here by eight!
210127
210127
On the 33rd day of Xmas…
My Christmas tree still lights the room
I only see friends my friends on zoom
Until my friends can visit me
I’m leaving up the fucking tree!
210122
210122
Oh Henry! > Baby Ruth
There once was a Hank known as hammer
The pitchers that faced him would stammer
The number he wore
A big 44
An RBI and Home Run slammer
210120
210120
Frustration turns to jubilation
This is no exaggeration
Four years is a long duration
To endure annihilation
Of this once majestic nation
Now eager anticipation
For Biden’s inauguration
And the giddy expectation
Jizztrumpet’s incarceration
210111
210111
Legs 11 day
All the twos – twenty-two
Quack quack – two ducks – mark them blue
Six and nine – sixty-nine
A sixty-nine sure would be fine
Five and three – fifty-three
Three-in-a-row, that’s quite lucky
Three and four – thirty-four
I have the sweats, I need one more
Eight and one – eighty-one
I have a check – Yes, I have won!
210108
210108
What’s my opinion of Kingman’s performance?
To Dodger fans Tommy Lasorda
Was family – an uncle sorta
He wore number two
And always bled blue
With Vin, they’re the top of the order
201230
201130
201130
Brownie caught his tail
Linc caught a mouse
Inside our house
He did it twice
He caught two mice
He thinks it’s fun
I hope he’s done
201127
201127
I’m living like it’s 6
We can blissfully
Move from 5 to 3
Or ignorantly
Move from 5 to 3
But regardlessly
We’re moving to 3
201102
201102
Do the right thing
Voters please don’t let us down
Run that jackass out of town
I’m fed up with dirty tricks
That’s why I want forty-six
201030
201030
Crappy Halloween
Trick or treat
Smell my feet
2020 is not sweet
Treat or trick
Suck my dick
2020 makes me sick
201019
201019
C u next time
If we want to stay alive
It’s six more weeks of level five
But we know that selfish pricks
Will make us go to level six
All because they would not wear
A mask to shield their viral air
Level six is dig your grave
Thanks to the cunts that won’t behave
201014
201014
They aren’t on the level
They say level three
But they canceled house visits
So we’re really five
200921
200921
The culchies can drink!
They’re open!
They’re really open!
We don’t need chips with pints
The pubs are open!
They’re open!
Thank Christ they’re open!
It’s time to have some craic
The pubs are open!
They’re open!
They’re feckin’ open!
Let’s all have one tonight
The pubs are open!
200909
200909
The big five three
Today I’m 53
Big whoop-de-fuckin-dee
Although this year is hell
You’ve made my birthday swell
While I take birthday spanks
I give you many thanks!
200814
200814
Voting in 9 x 9 days!
The Senator Kamala Harris
With Biden – they will not embarrass
The US of A
Which as of today
Is laughed at in Seoul, Rome, and Paris
200722
200722
The last shall be first and the first last
Twelve years ago this week
I had the best first date
It wasn’t that unique
But man it turned out great
I don’t expect to meet
A clone of my soulmate
But it would sure be sweet
To have my last first date
200713
200713
The more you know
Here’s a helpful tip
If you have work due at nine
Don’t drink before eight
200629
200629
Friends of Frenamath
A trio took a demon down
And won the favor of a town
His Holiness – benevolent
He smites foes quite malevolent
Some say that Voron is a sneak
Just ’cause it seems his fingers speak
The fighter plucked the demon’s heart
So locals thought they’d do their part
The scene of such a noble act
Now Ravnar’s Tower – that’s a fact!
You’d best not try to block their path
The heroes three of Frenamath!
200608
200608
Killing kobolds
The kobolds thought that they’d do in
The bard and Lady Serafin
But they did not expect to see
This duo with ferocity
While Serafin got knocked about
The halfling took his crossbow out
The first bolt went into an eye
Now that’s a gruesome way to die
The next three bolts flew through the air
And found their marks with deadly flare
Poor Serafin was black and blue
A healing word made her anew
The lady yelled “now go to sleep!”
A hidden dagger was plunged deep
And now the legend can begin
The bard and Lady Serafin
200525
200525
He wants “Fore!” more years
A man is not a man
Who golfs while many die
He has no thoughtful plan
He does not even try
200522
200522
Inches > Centimeters
There once was a fella named Kevin
Who claimed his dick went to eleven
He played truth or dare
They dared him to share
He barely whipped out half of seven
200518
200518
Phase craze
(18 May)
We’re now in phase one
The phase with no fun
(8 June)
Phase two on June 8
Can visit a mate
(29 June)
And when phase three drops
They’ll open most shops
(20 July)
The next phase is four
We’ll go shore to shore
(10 August)
And lastly phase five
The pubs are alive!!!
200513
200513
Bags by Brownie
John and Gemma played a silly game
Tried to keep their ten minutes of fame
John and Gemma don’t know when to quit
They should go and eat a bag of shit