221118

221118
Come on you mighty Bruins!

The trojans are our biggest rival
To beat them would mean Chip’s survival
If we keep the bell
That sure would be swell
And might start the program’s revival

220214

220214
I love LA!

Roses are red
LA Rams are blue
They have just won
Big game number two

211229

211229
Boom! Bang! Whap! Doink!

There once was a head coach named Madden
His passing caused many to sadden
‘Cause year after year
The viewers would hear
His “Boom!” and then our hearts would gladden

211124

211124
A yank’s thanks

I’m often asked, since I’m away
How do I spend Thanksgiving Day?
I do not have a big turkey
No stuffing, yams nor cranberry
I do not have my family here
No football games to watch and cheer
I kind of think, most displaced yanks
Just look around and give their thanks
That’s not to say I do not miss
A feast worthy of a chef’s kiss
Or seeing mom or Tom or dad
Of course those things do make me sad
But this is where my feet did roam
I’m in my new forever home
Although it’s far from you to me
I’m just right where I want to be

211122

211122
It came home!

The Trojans put up 33
The Bruins dropped a 62
Another year for Chip Kelly
The bell is back, it’s gold and blue

211108

211108
Fuck State Farm too!

Steelers are black
Packers are green
Aaron Rodgers is a fucking, lying,
     anti-vaxxer, piece of shit

201211

201211
Is Chip on the chop?

The Bruins play ball at the Rose Bowl
And beating the Trojans is their goal
To lose is a sin
If Chip doesn’t win
His stocking will be filled with black coal

200203

200203
Not in Ukraine either

Kansas City Chiefs
Despite what Jizztrumpet thinks
Don’t play in Kansas

191122

191122
Let’s retain the victory bell-y

In Westwood a Bruin named Kelley
Has rushing skills that make you jelly
When he gets the ball
It will show to all
That u$c trojans are smelly

191120

191120
Blue >>> Cardinal

The victory bell
Has been blue since last year’s win
Let’s keep it that way

191118

191118
I love UCLA

I hate $c, I really do
I hate $c, they smell like poo
I hate $c, they light my fuse
I hate $c, I hope they lose

190204

190204
There’s always next year

Sportsball isn’t fun
The Patriots won
New England is glad
The rest of us sad
Old England won too
The green boys are blue
The cats got a loss
Jizztrumpet’s still boss
This world is all wrong
Let’s toke on this bong

181116

181116
#BeatSc

There once was a killer named OJ
Who had a slow chase on the freeway
He drove by $c
And got his degree
‘Cause murder is fine if you can play

181008

181008
Good grief!

There is a grief that I don’t mind
The kind you give won’t be declined
The kind I have is not OK
I want to give it all away

180202

180202
Fuck the Patriots!

We’re not Philly fans
But this Sunday, we all say
“Fuck the Patriots!”

171118

171118
One can hope

Tonight on the field
UCLA has one goal
To get the bell back

171115

171115
He will show why he was chosen

There is a skilled QB named Rosen
Long TDs he’s good at composin’
On Saturday night
He’s bringing the fight
The Trojans will get a bulldozin’

161118

161118
$c ain’t no education

I hate all Trojans, rich and tanned
But most of all, I hate their band
They play the only song they know
It’s so boring and fucking slow
They march like Nazis on parade
I wish their mothers had been spayed
When Bruins win and our team cheers
They’ll goosestep home with Trojan tears

161116

161116
Hurricane strength haiku

Two eternal truths
UCLA is the best
$C fucking sucks

161114

161114
Rally Committee Wheeee!!!

Rallies, air horns, and card shows
Rally Comm has all of those
But they’re missing just one thing
That big bell we used to ring
Rose Bowl is the place to be
This week when we Beat $C!

160831

160831
Let’s have a ball for summerall

Though fall is still three weeks away
Summer concludes on Labor Day
The calendar may not agree
But brand new shows are on TV
School has returned and football too
We have a chance for something new
Between breakfast and midday lunch
Someone created champagne brunch
So after summer, before fall
We should declare a “summerall”
And just like brunch we drink champagne
While summer bods are on the wane

160829

160829
What Kaepernick haters sound like to me

The flag should be respected
Not your silly race complaints
Your people are neglected
By society’s constraints
But we cannot acknowledge
The playing field’s not level
You must have learned in college
While people are the devil
We liked you as a winner
When the game was on the line
But now you are a sinner
And we pray for your decline

160208

160208
Congrats donkeys

The Broncos won the Super Bowl
And Denver loses all control
The main stream press did not highlight
Most of the rioters were white
Imagine if they had been black
The press would have a heart attack
It’s funny that with all those drugs
White donkey fans still act like thugs

160205

160205
I like cats

Horses and cats play on Sunday
The cats will purr; horses will neigh
Unless you’re huge into pigskin
You likely won’t care who will win
So here’s a way to have some fun
Until the final play is done
Make sure to keep your glasses filled
With alcohol that’s fairly chilled
Then have a sip at every snap
You will soon take a well earned nap
You’ll join the drunken hall of fame
And won’t care who has won the game

151127

151127
That’s how I want the game to be

On Saturday ’bout half past three
As Sark sips his peach daiquiri
There’ll be a Bruin victory
Another loss for ol’ $c
That will beget malicious glee
I’d put that ‘neath our christmas tree

151113

151113
Fight! Fight! Fight!

First game of the year
Gonna yell and cheer
This never gets old
Let’s go blue and gold!

150204

150204
Raise your fin if you’re a left shark

Left shark, left shark dancing on stage
Rocking out for minimum wage
Can’t dance on time, can’t keep the beat
His downfall was his two left feet

141123

141123
20-38 is great

I will worry the week before
Worried until the final score
No need to worry anymore
Hundley’s first pass made me go numb
But then he made $c look dumb
The Bruins beat the Trojan scum
The week began with hope and fear
And then we beat a foe so near
We keep the bell another year!

141121

141121
Keep the bell blue!

There once was a clutch of $c girls
They looked so pretty, their hair in curls
They earned their degrees
While down on their knees
And they wore necklaces made of pearls

141119

141119
His best friend is a horse

There once was a Trojan named Tommy
Those who knew him thought he was balmy
He played with a sword
Hygiene he ignored
And he lived at home with his mommy

141117

141117
Paint the Rose Bowl blue

I hope Hundley and the offense
Choose not to make the game so tense
They should score often and early
Putting up points hurly burly
I hope that the Mighty Bruins
Can leave Southern Cal in ruins
That’d be a heck of a show
Here’s hoping for three in a row

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