140121

140121
I can’t trust a fart

If you fart and no one’s there
Should you really even care?
If it makes a nasty sound
Even though no one’s around
Do you say, “Excuse me sirs?”
What happens when that occurs?
If it waters up your eyes
How should you apologize?
Do you say, “I’m sorry ma’am”?
Does she even give a damn?
If I’m in an empty room
And I toot a smelly fume
I hope that the dog walks by
So that I can point and lie
It is certainly an art
To know when and where to fart

0115

0115
Like it’s never happened to you

If you can’t trust a fart
Be prepared for a shart
Give your ass cheeks a squeeze
Or find fudge in undies
To the bathroom you streak
To prevent a brown leak
You leap onto the bowl
And applaud your control

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