1120
I’m the poetry czar
This might sound bizarre
I got a new car
Gonna drive real far
To the nudie bar
Where I play guitar
And act like a star
Category: Ridiculous Rhymes
1119
1119
My kangaroo is also blue
The sky is blue
My car is too
And so’s my shoe
You know it’s true
1116
1116
They have no common sense
They’re not just stupid, they’re dense
So full of incompetence
There’s no end to their nonsense
Their existence makes me tense
1115
1115
Thanks Keith & Mick
You might not fulfill every wish
You can’t partake from every dish
You might not get to do that jaunt
You can’t always get what you want
If you keep the prize in your sight
There’s a chance it’ll turn out right
Even if your plans don’t succeed
You might find you get what you need
1114
1114
Pucker up!
I want you to listen to this
When you’re not here, I reminisce
Of moments when I get to kiss
Your lips that bring me so much bliss
1112
1112
11/12/13 @ 14:15:16
Eleven twelve thirteen
Fourteen fifteen sixteen
What did you think to do
At a quarter past two?
1111
1111
Peace man
Today is for those who have served
The praise they receive is deserved
While cheers are good, we should do more
Let’s honor them by ending war
1109
1109
One ring to rule them all
There’s something special ’bout a ring
They’re more than a symbolic thing
You give one to say “I love you”
You get one, and you say “I do”
It can bestow mighty powers
A gold band changes mine to ours
A wedding ring proves nothing more
Than you’re with the one you adore
1108
1108
Cruisin for a bruisin
There’s more insanity from Tom Cruise?
It’s nothing but crazy that he spews
He claims his job as a leading man
Is like fighting in Afghanistan
It’s well past time we forgot this slouch
Whose best role was jumping on a couch
1107
1107
I just call out your name
When I’m wearing a frown
You turn it upside down
If I feel sad or blue
You’re the one I turn to
If my spirits are low
It’s to you that I go
Upon you I depend
You’re my forever friend
1104
1104
I’d rather be a LOL’er
I met a jerk who was smaller
He asked if I was a baller
So I grabbed him by the collar
He began to shout and holler
I’m not usually a brawler
I would say I am a scholar
But I almost was a mauler
‘Cause this douchebag was a trawler
Like a troll living in squalor
Not a man, more like a crawler
Who begs his mom for a dollar
It turned out he was the bawler
1102
1102
16 + 56 candles
Happy birthday to my dad
He’s the best I’ve ever had
Wouldn’t want another one
‘Cause he is a lot of fun
1101
1101
Reese’s pumpkin hangover
Dia De Los Muertos – Day of the Dead
Is symbolized by a skeletal head
It’s a time for family and reflection
After a night of too much confection
1031
1031
And pumpkin cider
A Happy Halloween
To every kid and tween
If you are on our street
Come by to trick-or-treat
While you eat our candy
We’ll be drinking brandy
1030
1030
Too much bedtime Lovecraft
Around midnight, I go to sleep
Into my dream, terrors do creep
Panic and fear begin to spread
There’s a creature under my bed!
His skin is red; his eyes are black
He’s giving me a heart-attack!
I cannot run, his filthy fists
Have grabbed my feet; he grabbed my wrists!
He’s the reason for my nightmares
I try to scream but no one cares!
Though I’m half-mad from all the fright
I thrash about with all my might
Then I awake, weak and weary
I’m soaked with sweat; eyes are bleary
My head feels strange and new to me
Was that a dream or fantasy?
1029
1029
It’s all together ooky
This may seem a little kooky
But I think it’s rather spooky
To see someone in kabuki
On a chartreuse green suzuki
1028
1028
Our werewolf is pretty hairy
Trick or treaters should be wary
Of our house; it looks real scary
While our candy is quite tasty
It might be a little hasty
To approach us for some candy
A good costume would be handy
So don’t even think of knocking
If your outfit isn’t rocking
1024
1024
See you next year
Halloween’s near!
Pumpkins appear
This time of year
Though Jean will cheer
It may seem queer
I quake with fear
But do not jeer
Or look and sneer
This sounds severe
But I’m sincere
Let me be clear
My dread will rear
When it is here
I’ll disappear!
1023
1023
Stay classy Ben & Jerry
My ice cream belt gets one more notch
Ron Burgundy’s Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch
This ice cream has butterscotch swirls
And it’s enjoyed by boys and girls
If you’re like Ron from the tele
Eat it down into your belly
Two thumbs up from Brian and Champ
To quote Brick Tamland, “I love lamp”
1022
1022
Happy wombat day!
You would never think a wombat
Would be locked in cosmic combat
Way up high in a space station
Shooting with his Ultra Ray Gun
Asteroids that were on a course
To smash his ship without remorse
You would never ever think that
Would have happened to a wombat
1021
1021
Yo! That ain’t no crap!
Las Vegas is a paradise
For those who want to win a buck
At craps you roll a pair of dice
And hope the shooter doesn’t suck
1018
1018
Help save the tatas
The color of the month is pink
It’s supposed to help boobs I think
If there’s one thing that I should do
It’s help save a tata or two
1017
1017
I’m so vain
White whisker removed from my beard
It was not plucked, instead I sheared
It looks and feels a little weird
But there’s no reason to be skeered
It’s not as bad as I once feared
Onto my face some dye was smeared
That which was gray has disappeared
And so I danced around and cheered
1016
1016
Double stuff your 8-ball
This is something few predicted
Lab rats are way more addicted
To Oreos than crack cocaine
According to the rodent’s brain
Though offered drugs they weren’t coerced
They eat the creamy center first
This just proves that sugar and fat
Are the real drugs – imagine that!
1015
1015
Stop this tea-bagging nonsense!
I hope there’s some dealing
To raise the debt ceiling
If they don’t get it done
The terrorists have won
1014
1014
This is not a jest
That tightness in your chest?
A cardiac arrest!
If you are feeling stressed
You need to take a rest
Life’s not a constant test
Just do your very best
Live life to the fullest
Make that your daily quest
1012
1012
D is for diabetes
Cookies and milk are sweet to eat
For a quick snack, they can’t be beat
Oreos and chocolate chips
Stick to your fingers and your hips
1011
1011
Coming out still matters
To my friends that are not out
You don’t have to scream or shout
But you can if you want to
You should do what’s best for you
Just know that you have a friend
Who will fight until the end
If you are not cis like me
Today is your destiny
1010
1010
Here’s to another 47!
Happy birthday to my brother Tom
We have the same dad and the same mom
For 11 months, he’s the oldest
That’s why for me, September’s the best
I’m a 9/9 and he’s a 10/10
That means he’s older than me again
We’re Irish Twins thanks to dad and mom
Happy birthday to my brother Tom
1009
1008
1008
You never know what you’re gonna get
Though he exercised and ate Wheaties
Tom Hanks has Type 2 Diabetes
Why he got it needs further study
But sugar ain’t his Bosom Buddy