140105
Just like football clap-clap clap-clap-clap
In NCAA sports
The Bruins come to play
With balls of all sorts
Blue and gold rules LA
From the hills of Westwood
Over to the Rose Bowl
Even in $C’s hood
You can hear their bell toll
While the Bruins have flown
110 banners
$c Trojans condone
Douchebags and spray tanners
140103
Light up that halo #AngelsWin
Halo around the sun
Halo around the sun
Means today will be fun
Halo around the moon
Halo around the moon
Means fun will happen soon
Halo around your head
Halo around your head
Means you’re probably dead
140101
I’m back like a heart-attack
365 days done
And now a new year has begun
Each year we make a promise to
Become a better me and you
Here’s to doing our very best
To stave off cardiac arrest
1231
Thanks for everything 2013!
It’s 2014 eve
Today I will achieve
A feat you won’t believe
For every day this year
My poems caused a cheer
Or some to shed a tear
I used words in a rhyme
My drawings looked like slime
But finished every time
Next year’s resolution
My rhyme revolution
Will find distribution
1230
Your emergency is not mine!
It’s never too late
To try and frustrate
Your indifference
Is making me tense
If nonsense persists
Your face meets my fists
Please listen next time
To prevent a crime
1228
We do need some stinkin’ badgers
Jean saw a badger on our drive
Amazingly, he was alive
Too often critters are road kill
Observing wildlife is a thrill
1227
I’ll always have your back
Don’t wait for a zombie apocalypse
When we’re invaded by alien ships
We might get blown away by asteroids
Or fight an army of evil androids
You never know how the world’s gonna end
But it won’t suck if you’re with your best friend
1226
Gloves are 50% off too
Boxing day has nothing to do
With pugilists or people who
Punch your face or get into fights
It’s about presenting delights
To folks who need to get a break
We should all give more than we take
1225
Did you get it?
Did you get a Barbie doll?
Did you get a basketball?
Did you get a brand new car?
Did you get a steel guitar?
Did you get that fun new game?
Did you get a picture frame?
Did you get a gold iPhone?
Did you get some sweet cologne?
Did you get the xbox one?
Did you get a BB gun?
Did you get a racing bike?
Did you get that thing you like?
Did you get a choo choo train?
Did you get a golden chain?
Did you get a chia pet?
Did you get a clarinet?
As we eat our Christmas spread
Think of those without a bed
There are folks that just want life
For their brother or their wife
There are kids out in the street
Looking for a scrap to eat
Is there something you can do
To help make these dreams come true?
1223
It’s a Festivus miracle
December 23rd is Festivus
It’s a holiday for the rest of us
If diminished distractions are your goal
No tinsel on your aluminum pole
If disappointed, grievances can air
Tell them how you feel like you just don’t care
Meatloaf is the traditional dinner
The Feats of Strength need to have a winner
If no one pins the head of the household
Festivus continues for time untold
1221
Reason to play coop
Playing the same game is repetitive
But I don’t like to be competitive
Remember, winning isn’t everything
But it’s certainly better than losing
I don’t want to be contradictory
I’d rather we all enjoy victory
1219
At least nobody was surprised
A rednecked hillbilly
From dynasty of ducks
Thinks butt sex is silly
And costs himself some bucks
“Jim Crow made blacks happy”
He said ignorantly
If he’s the clan’s pappy
How dumb is his family?
1218
All that and a chili dog too
Tonight is our Christmas soiree
For the folks I work with all day
It’s over in Oceano
To see a variety show
With all the popcorn we can eat
This X-mas party won’t be beat
1217
Smaug’s jealous of my wealth
By the time you read this
I’ll have won the jackpot
There’s no way I can miss
This isn’t a longshot
There’s no way I can lose
I’m counting my riches
I’m the next Howard Hughes
Half a billion bitches!
1216
If Jesus were brown, and Santa was black
Megyn Kelly would have a heart attack
I’m dreaming of a brown Jesus
Just like the man from Bethlehem
Megyn Kelly thinks it’s needless
If he’s not white, she would condemn
I’m dreaming of a Black Santa
With every poem that I write
He’s bringing gifts to Atlanta
But Megyn thinks that isn’t right
May you get a gift from his sack
And may all your Santas be black
1214
I’m in tune
Right in tune
Friends played at a local cafe
Music on a Saturday night
Tunes were good, the tea was okay
The company was out of sight
1212
12/12/09 Mr. & Mrs. Geraghty
It was four years ago
Beneath the neon glow
Of a near-freezing sign
We became yours and mine
Your friends joined my wolf pack
We have each other’s back
The best day of my life
When you became my wife
I’ll fix it whatever
I’ll follow wherever
I’ll do it whenever
I’ll love you forever
1211
Wheaton’s Law @wilw
Here are some rules for a good life
When leaving the house, kiss your wife
Don’t put other’s down out of spite
Do what you can to stop a fight
When eating chips, don’t double dip
You should always leave a nice tip
Don’t cut in line or steal a space
Your life’s a journey not a race
Don’t ever call a girl a chick
Above all else – don’t be a dick
1210
Who else could I be?
I don’t want to be
Like everybody
Not run-of-the-mill
Nor mentally ill
I want to be rare
Without any care
Upbeat and unique
Not lacking mystique
I want to be me
Except differently
1209
Best one until next year
I don’t think I will ever see
A better looking Christmas tree
The ornaments that mean so much
Look at Tiny Tim with his crutch
And there’s Homer as Mr. Plow
And Spider-Man’s on the top bough
Santa’s there with a twinkling light
It’s perfect for this chilly night
1206
Sorry can’t reach my pocket
Christmas time is here
Do you have the cheer?
And by cheer I meant
Please give your last cent
To the most greedy
Rather than needy
1205
Stop clownin’ around
“Keep your burgers, keep your fries,
make our wages supersize”
Fast food workers want more pay
They use food stamps everyday
So the fry cooks strike and rant
But their bosses say they can’t
If they paid a living wage
It would end this Gilded Age
1204
Gadot is no Carter
“Wonder Woman is too skinny
Though she looks good in a mini”
Fanboys are antagonistic
They are never realistic
They’re as fun as a root canal
But they hope Zack picked the right Gal
1203
Death Valley days
“Don’t feed the animals”, they said
If you do they’ll soon be dead
But it was just a bit of bread
And so the coyote we fed
1202
How will returns work?
Amazon.com may use drones
To deliver books and iphones
This Cyber Monday would be good
To test this in my neighborhood
I wonder what they could bring me
I’d start with a Joshua Tree
Then they’d bring a whiskey sour
To my house within an hour
I’d love to get a sloppy joe
In 45 minutes or so
These drones have possibilities
To those with disabilities
Will this power be used for good
Or will it be misunderstood?
Either way is okay with me
As long as shipping is still free
1130
35-14! ‘Nuff said!
The UCLA Bruins
Left the Trojans in ruins
Scores from Vanderdoes and Jack
Started the Bruin attack
Brett Hundley ran in two more
Then Perkins added a score
Jim Mora is 2-for-2
Congrats to the boys in blue
UCLA keeps the bell
U$c can go to hell
1129
Hail to the hills of Westwood
I love Joe Bruin, so of course
I don’t like Tommy or his horse
Another thing I just can’t stand
I really hate the Trojan band
The goose stepping and sunglasses
Make them look like total asses
Fight On and Conquest get so old
The best band wears the blue and gold
1126
Burn Tommy burn
The Bruins of UCLA
Are gearing up for Saturday
The Trojans are their greatest foe
They hate each other even though
They might be sister or brother
Or live next door to each other
So they build a giant tower
That will make the Trojans cower
Then they will set it on fire
And make the Trojans perspire
When the Bruins win on game day
They’ll be the best team in LA
1123
Let’s spend 5000 more
Took a walk around the park
Got home before it was dark
Chowed down on tasty tri-tip
Then some egg nog we did sip
Just another Saturday
That we spent in our own way
1122
The end of Camelot
It was 50 years ago today
John F. Kennedy was on his way
Through Dealey Plaza in the Big D
When he was shot with John Connally
Whether Oswald was the one to blame
The country has never been the same
1121
Popemobile Mark III
The Mazda CX-5
Is the cool car I drive
It has the smell of new
And of course it is blue
