151214
The Dutch oven of your dreams
The big meal that I just ate
Makes me want to hibernate
It was fun to masticate
Now it’s time to flatulate
Author: tkpope
151211
151211
We’ll miss you grams
The call I dreaded came today
My grandmother has passed away
The ripe old age of 91
A long lived life, but now it’s done
151209
151209
Our gun problem leaves me aghast
More and more flags are at half mast
To honor victims that have passed
I hope that when it is my day
The flag is up, and not half way
151207
151207
Decembrrr!
It’s December, but it’s autumn
Weather has not hit rock bottom
Toes and fingers might start numbing
Two more weeks then winter’s coming
151204
151204
Not cloying or annoying
Instead of playing mean mind games
We give each other silly names
I really love my Sweetie Pea
I know she is the best for me
I love that I’m her sugar pooh
She loves that she’s my sugar moo
I’m sorry if this is too sweet
But love like this is pretty neat
151202
151202
We need to deactivate the shooters
You can’t take away my guns
Though it kills our moms and sons
I need guns to protect me
Or to stop a shooting spree
Disregard that I’m untrained
My skill set is self-ordained
If I interfere with SWAT
One less nut when I get shot
151130
151130
Show me your moon
When I see the moon at night
I know everything’s all right
When the moon is out at dawn
I know that I can go on
When it’s in the afternoon
I know that it came too soon
When there is no moon at all
I crumple into a ball
151127
151127
That’s how I want the game to be
On Saturday ’bout half past three
As Sark sips his peach daiquiri
There’ll be a Bruin victory
Another loss for ol’ $c
That will beget malicious glee
I’d put that ‘neath our christmas tree
151125
151125
Nobody’s business but the Turks
Su-24
Flies too close, and gets shot down
Happy Turkey Day
151123
151123
#2 team in L.A.
Tommy Trojan went to town
A-riding in his beamer
Stopped off for a chili dog
But got a Cleveland Steamer
Tommy Trojan kept it up,
Thanks to his nose candy
Afterwards he got locked up
And had to give a handy
151120
151120
I love my own misfortune
My Facebook friends fill me with rage
And yet I still scroll down the page
I suffer from self misery
Like Schadenfreude just for me
151118
151118
Don’t be a heartless bastard
The refugee criteria
Should not be changed for Syria
Those who thwart the huddled masses
Will be known as huge jackasses
151116
151116
Don’t feed the trolls
I won’t agree to disagree
When you’re as thick as a beech tree
And beech trees have the hardest wood
So being thick is not too good
And don’t use “to” when you mean “too”
A fourth grader knows more than you
If arguing is your sole goal
Get out of here you fucking troll!
151113
151113
Fight! Fight! Fight!
First game of the year
Gonna yell and cheer
This never gets old
Let’s go blue and gold!
151111
151111
Good thing his nose is pink
We could not find our little cat
We did not know where he was at
We checked outside, he was not there
He wasn’t in his favorite chair
We searched upstairs and then searched down
He could be anywhere in town
We called his name, “Where are you Linc?”
We found him in our bathroom sink
151109
151109
There’s no war on Christmas
Excessive fuss for a red cup
Those noisemakers should just shut up
When it’s a solo filled with beer
There are no gripes ’bout Christmas cheer
They whine and moan; it’s so misplaced
That energy is such a waste
They worry ’bout coffee that’s spiced
When they don’t ever act like Christ
151106
151106
Happy or hungry?
You seem excited to see me
Do you need food or want to pee?
Perhaps you thought that we were dead
And worried how you would get fed
How did you spend your time today?
Did you destroy or did you play?
There’s no debris, so I conclude
That I will give you some wet food
151104
151102
151102
Happy birthday dad!!!
There once was a Paddy from Mayo
Who moved to the US of A oh
He married a wife
And later in life
Three boys made his hair go all gray-o
151030
151030
Happy Halloween Eve!
I am a pope, and Jean’s a nun
Brownie’s a cop without a gun
Raven’s a freaking astronaut
Linc isn’t cool with what he’s got
We may not have scary costumes
But as the kids ride witches brooms
To our front door to get their treat
Our neighbors must accept defeat
We have the best house on the block
And Charlie Brown still got a rock
151028
151028
Boris sent me
Vampires give a fright
Because they might bite
The poor ol’ mummy
His wardrobe’s crummy
Zombies don’t like grains
They’d rather eat brains
Invisible Man?
I’m not a big fan
Wolf man is scary
He’s so damn hairy
The Overlook’s ghost
Is not a good host
The creature has gills
He gives me the chills
I do not like ghouls
They’re grave robbing fools
Doc Victor is mean
His lab is not clean
His monster is green
He hates Halloween!
151026
151026
556, 557, 558…
Dogs are barking, and I can’t sleep
I Try my best to count the sheep
But thoughts into my head do creep
I think I’m there, but it’s not deep
At 3 am, I start to weep
Then suddenly, the alarm beep…
151023
151023
Vodka sunset > tequila sunrise
Another Central Coast sunset
Another view I won’t forget
The colors ‘cross the western sky
Will stay with me until I die
151021
151021
Outatime
Thirty years since Marty McFly
Flew way up high into the sky
The car was Doc Brown’s time machine
They landed in Twenty Fifteen
The trilogy got some things right
But it could use a good rewrite
More internet less fax machine
Three Sharknados not Jaws 19
We did not get our hover boards
Self-lacing shoes, or clothes backwards
But that’s okay don’t be sour
When lightning strikes the clock tower
Make sure you’re going eighty-eight
‘Cause these movies are still real great
151019
151019
#2 beats ROY G BIV
In dankest night, in shit’s domain
No nostril can avoid my pain
If you can’t flush me down the drain
I’ll leave my mark – Brown Lantern’s Stain!
151016
151016
No shit? No shit!
Here I sit
Tried to shit
But only made a toot
Hear a shush
So I flush
And out of there I scoot
151014
151014
Plus Diet Mt. Dew
I love Taco Bell
Much better than Del
The tacos are swell
Burritos as well
On one thing I dwell
It makes my poo smell
Ninth circle of hell
I hate Taco Bell
151012
151012
Wearable technology
The bloke in a box
Can turn back the clocks
And fly to the end of the universe
He’s called the Doctor
Through time he does soar
To Cybermen and Daleks he’s a curse
151009
151009
Ditty for a doggie – Brownie Bear
He sits around like he just don’t care
That chromatic canine – Brownie Bear
He’ll eat your house into disrepair
A cast iron stomach – Brownie Bear
His policies are quite laissez faire
That political pooch – Brownie Bear
The backyard’s covered with his back hair
He’s a hirsute hounddog – Brownie Bear
He makes the room reek of derrière
That foul-smelling fido – Brownie Bear
Empty noggin, at a wall he’ll stare
Thick headed, tail wagger – Brownie Bear
151007
151007
I’m sure this is an epic fail
The letter person brings us mail
They also happen to be male
I gather water in my pail
The color of it is quite pale
I have a boat without a sail
Despite that fact it is for sale
A friend of mine just posted bail
He hit someone with a hay bale
I got pounded by sleet and hail
Which made me weak instead of hale
Although I do not have a tail
I hope you have enjoyed my tale
151005
151005
Costliest place on Earth
Their FASTPASS doesn’t solve long waits
They close more rides and raise their rates
The yearly passes cost a grand
Still we’re obsessed with Disneyland
When I was young, I loved to go
To ride the rides and watch a show
The park has changed a lot since then
I don’t think I’ll go back again