{"id":1981,"date":"2016-09-14T16:03:36","date_gmt":"2016-09-14T23:03:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/?p=1981"},"modified":"2022-09-21T00:29:09","modified_gmt":"2022-09-21T07:29:09","slug":"160914","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/2016\/09\/14\/160914\/","title":{"rendered":"160914"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/images\/2016\/160914.png\" \/><\/p>\n<p>160914<br \/>\nDating tips from a master ex-dater<\/p>\n<p>Plan out what you want to wear<br \/>\nTrim your nails and wash your hair<br \/>\nTweeze the long hairs in your nose<br \/>\nClean the fungus &#8216;tween your toes<br \/>\nDo this if you want to date<br \/>\nOr you&#8217;ll have to masturbate<\/p>\n<button id=\"listenButton1\" class=\"responsivevoice-button\" type=\"button\" value=\"Play\" title=\"ResponsiveVoice Tap to Start\/Stop Speech\"><span>&#128266; Listen to Poem<\/span><\/button>\n        <script>\n            listenButton1.onclick = function(){\n                if(responsiveVoice.isPlaying()){\n                    responsiveVoice.cancel();\n                }else{\n                    responsiveVoice.speak(\"160914 Dating tips from a master ex-dater Plan out what you want to wear Trim your nails and wash your hair Tweeze the long hairs in your nose Clean the fungus \\'tween your toes Do this if you want to date Or you\\'ll have to masturbate\", \"US English Female\");\n                }\n            };\n        <\/script>\n    \n\n<div class=\"twitter-share\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?via=stickpersonpoet\" class=\"twitter-share-button\">Tweet<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>160914 Dating tips from a master ex-dater Plan out what you want to wear Trim your nails and wash your hair Tweeze the long hairs in your nose Clean the fungus &#8216;tween your toes Do this if you want to date Or you&#8217;ll have to masturbate<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[128,84,97,127],"class_list":["post-1981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rhymes","tag-dating","tag-hair","tag-naughty","tag-wank"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1981"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1981"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1981\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1982,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1981\/revisions\/1982"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}