{"id":1631,"date":"2015-03-18T10:44:34","date_gmt":"2015-03-18T17:44:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/?p=1631"},"modified":"2017-09-07T11:17:14","modified_gmt":"2017-09-07T18:17:14","slug":"150318","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/2015\/03\/18\/150318\/","title":{"rendered":"150318"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/images\/2015\/150318.png\" \/><\/p>\n<p>150318<br \/>\nDon&#8217;t be misled there&#8217;s always bed<\/p>\n<p>I think I&#8217;ll just go back to bed<br \/>\nWind blew the hat off of my head<br \/>\nMy jeans don&#8217;t fit &#8217;cause I&#8217;m too fat<br \/>\nMy only friend&#8217;s a one-eyed cat<br \/>\nI found a bug in my sandwich<br \/>\nI drove my car into a ditch<br \/>\nI owe way more than I can pay<br \/>\nI got shit on by a blue jay<br \/>\nMy job is slowly killing me<br \/>\nIt sometimes hurts when I go pee<br \/>\nMy doctor says I&#8217;ll soon be dead<br \/>\nI think I&#8217;ll just go back to bed<\/p>\n<button class=\"responsivevoice-button\" type=\"button\" title=\"ResponsiveVoice Tap to Start\/Stop Speech\" data-rvtts-action=\"speak\" data-rvtts-text=\"150318 Don&#039;t be misled there&#039;s always bed I think I&#039;ll just go back to bed Wind blew the hat off of my head My jeans don&#039;t fit &#039;cause I&#039;m too fat My only friend&#039;s a one-eyed cat I found a bug in my sandwich I drove my car into a ditch I owe way more than I can pay I got shit on by a blue jay My job is slowly killing me It sometimes hurts when I go pee My doctor says I&#039;ll soon be dead I think I&#039;ll just go back to bed\" data-rvtts-voice=\"UK English Male\"><svg class=\"rvtts-icon\" width=\"22\" height=\"22\" viewBox=\"0 0 22 22\" fill=\"currentColor\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M11 0C4.92345 0 0 4.92345 0 11C0 13.2683 0.690345 15.3772 1.86621 17.1221L0.811724 21.0517L4.70345 20.0124C6.48621 21.2641 8.65586 22 11 22C17.0766 22 22 17.0766 22 11C22 4.92345 17.0766 0 11 0ZM3.99793 9.99862C3.99793 9.44483 4.44552 8.99724 4.99931 8.99724C5.5531 8.99724 6.00069 9.44483 6.00069 9.99862V12.0014C6.00069 12.5552 5.5531 13.0028 4.99931 13.0028C4.44552 13.0028 3.99793 12.5552 3.99793 12.0014V9.99862ZM8.99724 13.9966C8.99724 14.5503 8.54966 14.9979 7.99586 14.9979C7.44207 14.9979 6.99448 14.5503 6.99448 13.9966V7.99586C6.99448 7.44207 7.44207 6.99448 7.99586 6.99448C8.54966 6.99448 8.99724 7.44207 8.99724 7.99586V13.9966ZM12.0014 17.0007C12.0014 17.5545 11.5538 18.0021 11 18.0021C10.4462 18.0021 9.99862 17.5545 9.99862 17.0007V4.99931C9.99862 4.44552 10.4462 3.99793 11 3.99793C11.5538 3.99793 12.0014 4.44552 12.0014 4.99931V17.0007ZM14.9979 13.9966C14.9979 14.5503 14.5503 14.9979 13.9966 14.9979C13.4428 14.9979 12.9952 14.5503 12.9952 13.9966V7.99586C12.9952 7.44207 13.4428 6.99448 13.9966 6.99448C14.5503 6.99448 14.9979 7.44207 14.9979 7.99586V13.9966ZM18.0021 12.0014C18.0021 12.5552 17.5545 13.0028 17.0007 13.0028C16.4469 13.0028 15.9993 12.5552 15.9993 12.0014V9.99862C15.9993 9.44483 16.4469 8.99724 17.0007 8.99724C17.5545 8.99724 18.0021 9.44483 18.0021 9.99862V12.0014Z\"\/><\/svg><span class=\"responsivevoice-button__label\">Listen to Poem<\/span><\/button>\n\n<div class=\"twitter-share\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?via=stickpersonpoet\" class=\"twitter-share-button\">Tweet<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>150318 Don&#8217;t be misled there&#8217;s always bed I think I&#8217;ll just go back to bed Wind blew the hat off of my head My jeans don&#8217;t fit &#8217;cause I&#8217;m too fat My only friend&#8217;s a one-eyed cat I found a bug in my sandwich I drove my car into a ditch I owe way more &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/2015\/03\/18\/150318\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">150318<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[51,45,46,90,74,50,15],"class_list":["post-1631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rhymes","tag-animals","tag-automobiles","tag-bed","tag-colors","tag-crazy","tag-weather","tag-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1631"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1631"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1631\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1632,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1631\/revisions\/1632"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1631"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1631"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}