{"id":1448,"date":"2014-12-05T21:28:32","date_gmt":"2014-12-06T05:28:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/?p=1448"},"modified":"2016-05-12T21:31:12","modified_gmt":"2016-05-13T04:31:12","slug":"141205","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/2014\/12\/05\/141205\/","title":{"rendered":"141205"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/images\/201412\/141205.png\" \/><\/p>\n<p>141205<br \/>\nRead in Morgan Freeman&#8217;s voice<\/p>\n<p>You feel it in your heart<br \/>\nYou feel it in your feet<br \/>\nYou really need to fart<br \/>\nAfraid you&#8217;ll stain the sheet<br \/>\nYou take a breath of air<br \/>\nAnd clench your muscles tight<br \/>\nYou squeeze it out with care<br \/>\nBut hold with all your might<br \/>\nIt makes a squelching blast<br \/>\nYour heart is filled with dread<br \/>\nYou let it out too fast<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ve gone and shit the bed<\/p>\n<button id=\"listenButton1\" class=\"responsivevoice-button\" type=\"button\" value=\"Play\" title=\"ResponsiveVoice Tap to Start\/Stop Speech\"><span>&#128266; Listen to Poem<\/span><\/button>\n        <script>\n            listenButton1.onclick = function(){\n                if(responsiveVoice.isPlaying()){\n                    responsiveVoice.cancel();\n                }else{\n                    responsiveVoice.speak(\"141205 Read in Morgan Freeman\\'s voice You feel it in your heart You feel it in your feet You really need to fart Afraid you\\'ll stain the sheet You take a breath of air And clench your muscles tight You squeeze it out with care But hold with all your might It makes a squelching blast Your heart is filled with dread You let it out too fast You\\'ve gone and shit the bed\", \"UK English Female\");\n                }\n            };\n        <\/script>\n    \n\n<div class=\"twitter-share\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?via=stickpersonpoet\" class=\"twitter-share-button\">Tweet<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>141205 Read in Morgan Freeman&#8217;s voice You feel it in your heart You feel it in your feet You really need to fart Afraid you&#8217;ll stain the sheet You take a breath of air And clench your muscles tight You squeeze it out with care But hold with all your might It makes a squelching &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/2014\/12\/05\/141205\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">141205<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[46,18,13,17],"class_list":["post-1448","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rhymes","tag-bed","tag-celebrities","tag-fart","tag-poo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1448"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1448"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1448\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1450,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1448\/revisions\/1450"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1448"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1448"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1448"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}