{"id":1123,"date":"2014-01-21T21:20:07","date_gmt":"2014-01-22T05:20:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/?p=1123"},"modified":"2016-05-04T21:22:26","modified_gmt":"2016-05-05T04:22:26","slug":"140121","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/2014\/01\/21\/140121\/","title":{"rendered":"140121"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/images\/201401\/140121.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>140121<br \/>\nI can&#8217;t trust a fart<\/p>\n<p>If you fart and no one&#8217;s there<br \/>\nShould you really even care?<br \/>\nIf it makes a nasty sound<br \/>\nEven though no one&#8217;s around<br \/>\nDo you say, &#8220;Excuse me sirs?&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat happens when that occurs?<br \/>\nIf it waters up your eyes<br \/>\nHow should you apologize?<br \/>\nDo you say, &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry ma&#8217;am&#8221;?<br \/>\nDoes she even give a damn?<br \/>\nIf I&#8217;m in an empty room<br \/>\nAnd I toot a smelly fume<br \/>\nI hope that the dog walks by<br \/>\nSo that I can point and lie<br \/>\nIt is certainly an art<br \/>\nTo know when and where to fart<\/p>\n<button id=\"listenButton1\" class=\"responsivevoice-button\" type=\"button\" value=\"Play\" title=\"ResponsiveVoice Tap to Start\/Stop Speech\"><span>&#128266; Listen to Poem<\/span><\/button>\n        <script>\n            listenButton1.onclick = function(){\n                if(responsiveVoice.isPlaying()){\n                    responsiveVoice.cancel();\n                }else{\n                    responsiveVoice.speak(\"140121 I can\\'t trust a fart If you fart and no one\\'s there Should you really even care? If it makes a nasty sound Even though no one\\'s around Do you say, \\\"Excuse me sirs?\\\" What happens when that occurs? If it waters up your eyes How should you apologize? Do you say, \\\"I\\'m sorry ma\\'am\\\"? Does she even give a damn? If I\\'m in an empty room And I toot a smelly fume I hope that the dog walks by So that I can point and lie It is certainly an art To know when and where to fart\", \"UK English Female\");\n                }\n            };\n        <\/script>\n    \n\n<div class=\"twitter-share\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?via=stickpersonpoet\" class=\"twitter-share-button\">Tweet<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>140121 I can&#8217;t trust a fart If you fart and no one&#8217;s there Should you really even care? If it makes a nasty sound Even though no one&#8217;s around Do you say, &#8220;Excuse me sirs?&#8221; What happens when that occurs? If it waters up your eyes How should you apologize? Do you say, &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/2014\/01\/21\/140121\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">140121<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[13],"class_list":["post-1123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rhymes","tag-fart"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1123"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1123"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1125,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1123\/revisions\/1125"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stickpersonpoetry.com\/spp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}